Another email I received.
Dear President Obama:
I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into
Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, laws and immigration quotas.
I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would
you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way
Please let him know that the following are my conditions.
1. I want free medical care for my entire family.
2. I need English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All Mexican government forms must be in English.
4. I need schools where my grand-kids are taught Spanish by English speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. I demand classes on American culture and history.
6. The school must fly the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. I demand free breakfast and lunch at school.
8. I need a Mexican driver's license for easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico but I don't plan to
purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to
learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo
from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every
patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U.S. flag
decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not
want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or
have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be
extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or
about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican taxes, I'll receive money from the government.
17. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican
Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things
for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico.
I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind help. You're the man!